Both of my kids are extremely early risers. It's a rare day when they aren't both up by 5:30 a.m. This morning, Sammy decided 4:00 a.m. was a good time. Nuh-uh, no way, no how. It's been hard enough to adjust to 5:30, we are NOT moving the wake up time any earlier. So Ron went to lie down with him in Sammy's room (or so I thought).


When my alarm went off at 5:30, Natalie was still sleeping soundly next to me in the bed. I lined the edge of the bed with pillows to keep her from falling off, walked out to the living room and turned on the lamp just to hear Ron grouching quietly at me from the recliner, with Sammy on his lap. The light immediately went back off, and I stumbled around in the dark, getting my pump parts put together, then retreating to the office to read my email while I "made Natalie's breakfast".


A few minutes later, I heard Natalie waking up in the bedroom. She sounded happy enough, so I decided to wait until I was finished cleaning my pump before going to get her. About 10 seconds later, I heard a sickening "thump" and knew right away that she had somehow fallen off the bed. I went running down the hallway, and when I was about halfway to the bedroom, the shrieking started. I was shocked to see her lying on the floor, about three feet from the bed. I have no idea how she managed that - she must have had a running start. And I still don't know how she got herself past the pillows, since they were undisturbed.


Anyway, I sat rocking her while she sobbed her little heart out. I could tell she wasn't badly hurt, just really shaken up. When Sammy was about this age, he rolled off the bed too, and I fuh-reaked out, sure that he would have a concussion/cracked skull/permanent brain damage. After calling his doctor, who assured me that a fall from that height was very unlikely to cause any damage, I felt better but checked on him every hour, all night long. One thing that I've learned in the past couple of years is that kids are very resilient and a lot tougher than they look, so this time I didn't panic; I just felt terrible for not coming to get her as soon as I heard her wake up.

By the time she quieted down, it was time for me to leave for work, but I wasn't even dressed yet. I tried to hand her off to Ron (who of course was awake after all the commotion), but every time I gave her over, she would stick out her lower lip in a perfect pout, whimper, and reach her arms out for me. It would take a much stronger person than me to be able to resist that plea, so of course every time I picked her up and gave her more cuddles. Which made me an hour late to work, but that's the way it goes.

Even through her sadness, she lit up every time Sammy walked in the room. She just adores her older brother. She has this new game, which she thinks is hilarious - Sammy, NOT SO MUCH - where she steals his binky right out of his mouth. Since Sammy had just woken up, we hadn't confiscated the binky yet, and he came over to lay his head on my lap so I would stroke his hair. Natalie would giggle as she stretched her little body as far as she could to reach his mouth, and in one quick motion, swiped his binky and popped it in her own mouth. Sammy grumbled, took it back with an air of resignation, and laid his head back down. Natalie started giggling in anticipation of Round Two. She could play that game for hours, but Sammy will only put up with it for a couple of minutes before he leaves to find a quieter, safer place to nurse his binky.

So, yeah - I think she's going to be okay. Me, on the other hand? I'm still feeling guilty over the time when Sammy fell off the bed. I think it's going to be a long time before I'm okay with what happened this morning.