Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Zen and Now

Since Ron has started working nights, I have a whole new appreciation for single moms and army wives. Honestly, I had no idea how hard it was to never get a break. I've found myself getting a little short with the kids, a little more often than I'd like, lately. I used to have a very short temper and I think I've come a long way, but with this new stress in my life, I've been backsliding a bit.

On Saturday, I got a much-longed-for-and-much-appreciated break. I spent the entire three hours cleaning the house, and had just gotten it under control when Ron and the kids got home from his sister-in-law's house. (There's another part to this story, tune in again tomorrow.)

I had packed lunches for the kids, and Auntie C. told Sammy he was really lucky to have a mom who made such nice lunches for him (awww, thanks, Auntie C.!). Sammy replied, "Sometimes I make her angry."

Ugh. That was a wake-up call. Ron thought it was cute and showed that Sammy had an understanding of how his behavior affects me, but that's not at all how I took it. For that to be the first thing he says about me when someone brought me up? It really didn't make me feel very good about myself as a mother.

I remembered a post on The Toby Show awhile back about a book called Buddhism for Mothers, and decided it was time to get my hands on a copy. I am going to learn to be a calm mother, if it kills me. And it might.


Anonymous said...

Becky, here's wishing for easier times. I can definitely relate- so if that book does you any good, please let me know. I many times feel overwhelmed and even with Garrett get frustrated. My patience has come a LONG WAY from back in the day!

Just remember not to beat yourself up to much! You're a great mother.

Tabitha said...

Becky, I am going to agree with Ron on this one. It awesome Sammy is picking up on emotions. He probably only mentioned it that because it was out of the norm for you. He wants to make you proud more than he wants to make you angry...I think it was a compliment on your parenting. Granted those days come around and I am sure not often to you... you were always patient in our days! I too get frustrated easily some days and like your other friend can't wait to hear your reviews on the Buddism book.

Becky said...

Thank you to both of you for your kind words! I will definitely write a review when I'm finished with that book.

Tabitha, I hope you and Ron are right. You know, I never thought about it that way before - that maybe he mentioned it because it's out of the norm for me. I like that theory. :-)